A letter from a subconscious muttering

Dear Alex,

Do you remember last year? I think you do. Does it feel like much has changed, because truthfully it hasn’t. Sure you’ve done things, you’ve been extremely unconventional to your usual state, but technically you’re still the same. Things might seem like they’re in turmoil right now, things might seem like they’re falling apart, but that’s only because you’re not applying what you’ve been learning. At the moment you really are lacking in self-discipline and letting your desires take over. Last week was a turning point, you shut the monkey up. Sure you let it make a right mess of things and nearly caused a full on nuclear war, that could still happen, but I suspect you won’t allow that now will you? Would you be stupid enough to let that happen, or are you truly naive and idiotic enough to let it happen. Who would it benefit? What would it achieve to serve the bonds and allow fission to occur? Are you trusted Wornast, because I don’t think that you are. You may not be destructive and you do not try to be, but people fear your potential to be destructive and above all they fear your unpredictability, after all we’re not all used to uncertainty like you are. 

The potential of certain people has angered you recently, but you shouldn’t be too angry that you couldn’t get to them. Once, a while ago, you were an angry person do you really want to be like that again? I suspected that you didn’t. While your divine rage got you to where you are today, it doesn’t mean that it will get you where you want to be nor where you need to be. So what will you need to do? I think you already know that answer, but you need to allow your mind to rebuild itself to the level of strength that it possessed just a few years ago. Give it time, give  it all the time it needs

A Tuesday Mind Dump

There was a dead pigeon on the train track this morning. I’m not really sure how to feel about it. I think way too much about things, miss the obvious and adopt the opinions of others to shape who I think I am. I used to think everything about me was complicated, that I needed a whiteboard to explain it all, but after last night I realise that I’ve been extremely moronic. The complicated part is just stuff and stuff isn’t necessarily important. I mean there’s only one thing that still applies and that is the 75th principal. If someone asked me to describe who I am or who I think I am, I’d simply shrug and say It doesn’t really matter does it? the world is so backward because no one cares. We smile, we wave, we say hello and ask each other how they are, but we don’t really care about the answers. No one understands anyone, but that’s probably only because everyone shuts everyone out to a certain degree. Everyone shows you want you want to see and only what you want to see, no one wants to show vulnerability, for fear of appearing weak. 

Eventually, if you keep thinking this way you begin to live life in a dream, it all begins to feel like a game. It’s enough to turn any good person cold. When I was working on certaceptation (which I only stopped working on because I was getting nowhere with it) I realised that something is only complicated if you want it to be. Anything can be simplified, but it what is simple to me might not be simple to them.

So what do I think? Recently I’ve said “I don’t know” a lot because a lot of the time I really don’t know what to think anymore. Nothing much really matters to me, nothing really scares me. The way I see it is everything works, but I don’t know what reality is anymore. Every time I’ve  “let someone in” in the past, I’ve usually regretted it. Yesterday was different. I want this person to know me and I want to know them, because truthfully I do care about them. 

Everyone’s life is different, but in some cases the configurations can be similar. I mean I do make bad decisions when it comes to my personal life, but good decisions in my professional life. I guess I should draw up some plans, after all it’s what I know, it’s what I do. I mean if I didn’t have a plan, I’d end up somewhere, buy I’d feel like I’d be going on a wild goose chase. It’d feel foggy to say the least. I’m not worried if I was worried I’d be shouting down the houses and people would know about it. Being secretive isn’t me after all. 

Neutrality is something I don’t really like, I’ll work with it though. I mean it’s not necessarily good nor is it necessarily bad. It’s just something that I’m not terribly used to. *Shrugs* that can’t last forever. 

Clearing Things Up

So my phone has just died on me, not sure what’s happened, probably heat damage or something considering it was sitting out in the sun the other day. It knew it was on its way out I guess, begrudgingly though, the phone I was going to get to replace it hasn’t been released yet. I remember having the same dilemma with my Nokia lumia exactly two years ago to this date, although that was an entirely different situation altogether, when it decided to fall out of my pocket and tumble into the toilet that I had just used. So for now I’ve bought a cheap nasty phone with a massive 4150mAh battery that’s only here for probably a month I hope! I do feel sorry for it though because blimey I have put that phone through a hell of a lot. I don’t even know how it survived six months let alone two years. Yes I am a phone wrecker it seems. Anyway, I’ve yet again gone on a massive tangent. Before I make a start on the post however, I’d like to thank SC, DM, DT, ER and HB.

So last week (the week beginning the 14th of August) was not a great week. The week for me always begins on a Sunday. People always ask me “why does your week start on a Sunday” to which I usually respond with some convoluted explanation that no one can ever understand. I actually had to result in drinking espressos as a mood booster, despite the fact that I’m an avid tea drinker. Of course drinking eleven espressos a day was probably not the best of ideas because I did feel rather queezy by midday. Anyway on Sunday I ended up going kayaking at Ardingly resevoir with a girl who has been messing around with raspberry pis with for quite a while now and it wasn’t actually half bad. They’re also a bit of an idiot because I’ve spent far too much time messing around with her Peugeot. On Monday it was a friend of mine’s birthday where I ended up getting fed up and leaving early and going to bed ridiculously early. My low mood resulted in me spending more time with this girl, but I had a huge arguement with her on Saturday when I had one of the most massive arguements of my life with her, which is now enough to put me off relationships for now at least.

On my blogging break, I’ve spent a lot of time reading and thinking about what I want and I’ve also spent a lot of time complaining and listening to other people’s opinions on the matter. Trying to figure out what you want might sound like an easy task, but as Morgan Freeman said in Bruce Almighty “Yeah. But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want?” At the time people told me to do what I wanted to do and if I’m honest I had no idea. I ended up buying a lot of things, which is strange because I’ve never really been someone who spends a lot of money. After reviewing everything that’s happened in the past few weeks I’ve actually realised that not a lot of things matter that much to me. I mean my life is pretty much there, all I have to do is keep doing what I’m doing.

 I shall be back soon! 


Catch You Later ?

Well here we are in the middle of July in the year of 2016. July is always the week when everything happens, I know that’s pretty vague because define the term everything! Usually I love to tell people what’s going on, but right now, I think I need to be alone and to keep this all under lock and key. When I say that I’m busy, I’m not pushing anyone away, when I say that I have other plans, it really does mean that I have other plans.

I love blogging, it loosens up the mind, keeps it well oiled and makes it as sharp as a tack. Right now, I need to have some time to think, some time to bask in the glorious sunshine and some time to read some books under my favourite tree. Some of you will find your way to me. But here’s the thing, I will be taking a long break and I don’t exactly know when I will be back.

These past two and a half years have been great and I’ve certainly come a long way since I first started. I mean I’ve been many different people and I’m going to keep being different 😛 I’d like to thank you, my loyal readers, I know every blogger says this, but you really make all this worthwhile and I’m sure that I will have many stories to tell you and to share with you all upon my return!

I’m getting a bit dramatic here, all I’m really doing is going on blogging holiday… That’s a blogging vacation for my transatlantic cousins!

Anyway this Alex Wornast Signing off for the summer!

Catch You Later ?

It Doesn’t Matter Now

Well I honestly have no idea why your name is there, but it is. I didn’t think that I knew you back then. I mean I knew your face, I knew your name, I knew that you did GCSE astronomy in year nine; I can only assume you knew just as much about me. Your name is there in your own handwriting, I honestly have no recollection of how it got there. As I write this, I’m crossreferencing, I’m over analysing the facts, I’m searching for an answer that doesn’t exist. All the evidence I need however, is on my desk.

I have to admit back in those days, you weren’t even on my radar.Perhaps if I’d taken an interest in the desks behind me in Biology instead of making friends with a dickishly smart Boris Johnson lookalike (who my best friend at the time apparently despised) then things would’ve been different. I was far too nerdy for my own good back then, perhaps you were the same. I do suspect you weren’t obsessed with mathematical models and I do suspect you were the girl who would’ve shattered my rationality into billions of tiny pieces. Either way though, I’m glad that things aren’t different. 

I’m no mind reader and I’m no psychologist either.Do you really think if I had the chance to become a student of the mind, that I’d give it up? I couldn’t tell what you wanted, but I suspected, I have my suspicions even to this day, but I keep them to myself. I never wanted to build rapport. Perhaps you’re not sure, after all you are indecsive even if you won’t admit it. Perhaps if you did admit it, you’d think that I’d think less of you. In many ways, I wondered if it was my inherrent nerdiness that put you off. But there is one thing that stands out above many things, our manipulative minds that obviously seek out different desires.

Perhaps the problem is the alchemy, the obsession with perfect models in an imperfect world. The models are rubbish, you know that, even I know that. They’re not even best fit. The byproduct of these is of course ‘Yennacism’, not that you know what I’m talking about. It’s most likely jibberish to you. Although even after all this time, I can’t help thinking what is in that scheming head of yours, what your next move will be and where exactly you will strike next. I hate to say it though, but if you think you have me all figured out, then you’ve barely scratched the surface. Either way none of this matters any more does it really? We’re both very highly successful people. We share many things, but while you are impressed by many things, I am not so easy to please. No, I think I get it, I think I understand, it’s none of my business anyway. If that is the way, if that truly is the way, then that is how it must be. But let’s face it, doesn’t really matter though now does it?

Well I’ll let you be the judge of that as it’s not significant enough to me as it was a few months ago.

The Third Weekend Of July

Things have become hectic recently. Everything is go! But enough about that, I’ll get round to that when things start quietening down and I can begin to see the carpet again. Anyway, here’s a run down of this weekend:

  • Had a ridiculously hot bath.
  • Went to Tunbridge Wells.
  • Bought some new jeans in the next sale.
  • Went for a row in Dunorlan Park.
  • Got home about two.
  • Made egg salad for lunch.
  • Sorted out my bean bag.
  • Played pokémon go.
  • Bumped into a friend of mine who was apparently calling my name for ages.
  • Found out that my pub was a pokéstop, so I had a quick rum and coke in there.
  • Watched the thick of it (a political satire with a generous amount of swearing in it).
  • Studied some tsumego for a few hours. 
  • Read some psychological thrillers.
  • Made a right mess while removing some stuffing from my bean bag. there were polystyrene balls everywhere!
  • Went to bed early because I had to get up at 04:30AM on a Sunday to sell some rubbish at a car boot fair.
  • Sold some rubbish at a car boot fair.
  • Had a look at the donkey derby on King George’s field.
  • Friend of mine asked me to come round and fix her car, which is the Renault she picked up at a scrap yard a few months ago that I ended up fixing up for her. 
  • Blasted ‘she will be loved’ by maroon 5 in the hot sunshine as I messed around with it. 
  • We went to the forest to test if it was fixed.
  • Turns out that there’s a problem with the alternator. 
  • Walked home in defeat.
  • Got home about three.
  • Watched a scouts guide to the zombie apocalypse.
  • Played a puzzle game that primarily consists of hacking into computers.
  • Flew a plane from Gatwick to Geneva (on FSX).
  • Went to pizza express. 
  • Had a dream about inviting some of my friends round to play a strategy game that I don’t think exists.

And finally I ran out of pineapple juice!!!


      Gabbling With Pokémon Go

      Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the moment you have all be waiting for, it’s time for me to talk about the new mobile game for mobile that’s taking the world by storm.

      So My Friend Who Went To Sunny Mexico Played It

      They asked me the stupid question of “Have you heard of Pokémon go.” needless to say, I pretty much listed the entire series of Pokémon games apart from a few gameboy colour games and the latest versions. If I’m honest the entire idea of it sounded a little bit rubbish, but after downloading it for myself, I realised it was something that I actually liked.

      It’s Pokémon Meets Geocaching In An Epic Augmented Reality Experience

      Okay I’ll admit, I’ve bigged it up massively here. What I mean to say is it’s alright, it’s not perfect, but it’s good enough.

      Basically You Go Walking Around Hunting For Pokémon

      That’s a lot of karp….

      This is pretty much the starting point of everything. You gain experience from catching Pokémon and visiting pokéstops

      There’s Places You Can Visit

      Pokéstops can be anywhere. It just so happens that this one is on my train route.

      No prizes for guessing that they’re called pokéstops. You can get items, pokéballs and eggs from these sites. You have to spin the bit in the middle though to get it to work. After spinning you will gain experience and various items. It will also turn purple for five minutes which means that during that time you will be unable to use it again.

      And Of Course There Are Gyms

      You have to be level 5 to battle in a gym of course. At level 5 you’ll also be asked to choose which team you want to be part of. You have a choice of three which are instinct, mystic and valor. Teams control the Gyms and will show the respective team’s colour. You can a Pokémon in a gym if it white, which shows that it is unclaimed.

      A gym controlled by team Valor

      But It’s Novelty Soon Wears Off

      He says after spending an entire lunchtime outside trying to find Pokémon…

      And While The Capture Mechanics Are Cool, I Can’t Help Thinking, They Could’ve Been Better

      My favourite Pokémon game would have to be Pokémon ranger for the Nintendo DS. You know, that one where you ended up scratching your screen due to all the rapid loop drawing that you had to do around the Pokémon. Seriously though, if you’ve never played them, play them now or come to my house! I mean compared to the games that I’m used to, the capture mechanics are a little bit too simplistic for me.

      Not To Mention The Evolution Mechanics Aren’t Great Either

      It uses a system called candies and for your Pokémon to evolve you have to acquire a certain number of candies from catching Multiples of that Pokémon. Let me tell you, it’s a bit of a grind


      But At Least Eggs Work The Same Way

      Basically you put the egg in an incubator and walk. Nothing has really changed there at all.

      But In Some Cases, It Really Isn’t Worth Hatching Them…

      Seriously I walked two miles just to watch a Magikarp hatch from an egg… You can make an assumption that I was not particularly impressed. I wouldn’t have minded so much if it didn’t require 400 (YES 400) Magikarp candies to evolve into Gyarados. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that’s gonna take a while does it?

      Did I Mention That It’s Only Officially Out In The UK As Of Yesterday

      Of course I like many other’s just downloaded an apk, but I can confirm that it has officially been released in the UK now. Which is pretty great!

      Also You Can Spot People A Mile Off Who Are Playing It

      They’re just walking around with their phone in their hand and then they’ll suddenly just stop. Then if they’ve got the AR on, you’ll see them making an absolute complete fool of themselves whilst trying to find where the Pokémon actually is. Otherwise, they’ll just look a bit shifty and weird. Some of them may even be so engrossed in their device, that they won’t see your car either. For goodness sake, be careful….

      So My Final Verdict?

      Oh it’s atrocious, but I love it!

      Note: Images are not mine, screenshots are of official gameplay from my own mobile device. I do not hold the rights to any of the imagery.

      The dilemma

      I ran, I ran and I ran, barging through people without a singular shred of regard for them. I was in trouble, I knew that. My watch continued to flash more violently as I continued to sprint through the masses. “Move out of the bloody way!” I said in an aggressive manner to the slow bumbling people. My patience was dwindling like a the glow of a dying fire, hot white anger and frustration was making its way through my veins.

      After running for fifteen minutes, I had arrived. I sat down in the chair and drummed on the table in an inpatient manner. A fingerprint and an iris scanned appeared. “scanning commencing” said the machine in robotic voice as it proceeded to scan my eyes and fingerprint and also neurologically scan me for purposes of my own wellbeing. “Identification confirmed,” it said “You appear to be experiencing high levels of stress, deep breathing is a recommended and proven method to reduce stress levels” I rolled my eyes at the wretched machine. “The only thing I need love is a cup of friggin’ tea! Now fling me down the chute you hoity toity machine!” I cracked my knuckles in anticipation, smoothed back my hair and was flung down the chute into a clean white room with plain washed walls and incredibly bright lights that always blinded me on arrival.

      “Ah there you are Nick!”
      Lucas was annoying I hated Lucas!
      You know we’ve been waiting for you?”
      Correction Lucas is annoying and thick skulled.
      “Have a wafer.”
      I took a wafer from the packet, bit into it and spat it all over the floor.
      Oh and now he carries around wafers that taste like goat; that’s just great

      I was taken to the usual control room. “How’s our infrastructure,” I asked Mark.
      “It’s fine,” he said whilst hunching over a computer screen, “Take a look at this though.” It was the satellite. It appeared that it had been knocked out of orbit. I held my head in my hands “please tell me this isn’t happening,” I said. I was hoping that this had all been a bad dream, but it wasn’t. “Is it online? Can you ping it?” I questioned. Of course these were the obvious places to start, but to be honest, the people who ran my facilities could be right ninnies most of the time. “We lost contact at 10:49, we have had nothing since”
      “Oh great, so what you’re saying is that we’ve got twenty tonnes of scrap metal in orbit around earth without jamming?” I scratched my chin whilst trying to anticipate what to do next. “Lucas, make yourself useful and chuck us a pen will you, I need to make some calculations,” I said firmly. He nodded his head and saluted me. I rolled my eyes as if to say Run along now you idiot.

      Do You Take American Express?

      So you’ve stepped off the plane at Gatwick and all you have is an American Express. Congratulations, you’re going to look like an absolute idiot for the entirety of your trip because nowhere will take it. I lie of course because I myself an American Express card and apparently I’m the most British person in the entirety of Great Britain, which I guess by extension makes the most British person on the planet, which itself is an interesting concept.

      Actually I’m Selling You A Lemon.

      Not literally, I’m a lemon consumer, not a producer. I’m pretty sure that most establishments (apart from the dodgey pub down the road which has a very shifty barman) accepts American Express, however it has become a bit of a running joke in certain films and yes for a while I found it particularly amusing that my father couldn’t use his new fancy credit card with contactless payments. Of course, back in those days, it was well new and revolutionary, whereas now I would consider it the norm despite the lack of people in the group without one, but I’ll ignore this because I’m letting my mind wonder into the realms of contactless.

      What I Mean Is, I’ve Just Told You A Lot Of Bull!

      I just realised that the terminolgy I used in the previous subtitle may confuse people, so I thought I’d make this crystal clear. I lied, a majority of places do accept it. I mean if you were really feeling brave, you could just leave your visa credit at home, because let’s face it, who wants to go traipsing with a shed load of Great British Pounds? 

      Although Seriously Just Use Your Phone

      One day very soon, I’m probably going to be using a digital wallet and I’m probably going to take one look at the code and say “Actually, no thank you!” Because hackers are more ruthless and persistent than you realise these days!

      Tl;dr – There’s actually no point to this post

      Seriously, it’s quite rubbish! Come back on Friday instead, because that one is actually a follow on to the post known as Tearoom Days. Oh and if you really want to know who accepts Amercian Express, here’s a link!

      Come With Me; If You Like

      I see you sitting there staring at me. Do you have something to say or are you just going to stand there all day and gorp? Perhaps you don’t recognise me, for these past three years have developed four independent models each of varying lifespans. Either way, I really don’t have time for this; my schedule is tight, but time is not my enemy here, it is but a gentle reminder to keep moving and a push to think quicker.

      I have something that I have to do, are you with me or without me because I have no interests in chasing wild geese. There is great urgency for this action that will boom much louder than anyone who speaks words. There will be consequences, there will be judgement. You want to open your mouth, you want to say you know who I am, but it’d be a lie. You don’t know me; perhaps you never will. Being dynamic is part of my nature, change is part of my nurture. Adaptability and fluidity is what I strive for, freedom and variety is what I seek, whereas ethical use of power is something that I must learn.

      Do you remember that time when we tossed a coin? We ended up in London where we tried to save the Queen. How many chances have you taken recently? I suspect it isn’t too many… You’re not really a risk taker are you? I see fear in your eyes when my striking gaze pierces your soul. I am not a good man, but I am of course by no means a bad man, you know that at the very least.

      Tell me, do you believe everything you hear? Tell me do you believe everything you read? How can you truly trust your mind that manifests imperfections, a mind that manipulates its environment, a mind that’s constantly calculating and a mind that’s messing with you. Perhaps you’ve grown used to it, perhaps it doesn’t bother you or perhaps you programmed yourself not to care. Either way, I guess it’s none of my business really is it?

      I yawn, placing my hand over my mouth in a polite manner. I smile warmly at you, I have to go, you know that. You want me to stay in a town I’ve outgrown. The world is beckoning me, it’s eagerly awaiting my move. I am but playing a giant game of chess. Perhaps I will see you again, perhaps I won’t. That doesn’t matter because you don’t need me anymore, but that doesn’t mean that you want me to go. Maybe in another universe you’d join me, but in this one, you’d rather sit on a bench and wait. I have to tell you, I’ll never understand your logic or what you’re waiting for, but then again who am I to judge?

      Brexit – It’s Now Real

      I suspected it, I knew it was going to happen. Could I stop it? No I could not, it was beyond my control. Did you really think I could though? When I woke up this morning at 05:30, I hoped that it was a nightmare. Brace yourselves everyone the people have decided that Britain should be single again, the pound is plummeting, but most importantly my alcoholic uncle has got his way!

      I’m not saying that it’s necessarily a bad thing that Brexit has been decided, but it has made a bit of a mess this morning. It’s like the entire of the United Kingdom (except for Scotland) had a house party, drank too much and coated the floor in vomit. It’ll take a while to clean up. But it can’t be that bad, I mean the sun is actually shining for once. It all appeared to be a little too much for little Dave though this morning when he resigned. Let’s face it, we all knew that he would…

      So now we have paperwork to fill out, lots and lots of paperwork. Doesn’t that sound fun? I can’t really tell you what is going to happen.

      So we’ve decided to leave, what should we do? Well for starters I guess we can bring back 3000 watt kettles to drink copious amounts of tea while we wait for the pound to stabilise again. Now is the time for ideas people and creative geniuses, it’s time for Britain to make a new model! Of course it may take a while for us to actually leave, because like I said PAPERWORK.

      So if I couldn’t stop it, I might as well support the decision. I applaud the United Kingdom for its decision, I applaud Mr. Farrage because he so to speak has got his country back. Hell if I’d thought about betting on all this stuff, I could’ve been raking it in. Even better, I could’ve converted all my pounds to dollars! I even applaud Boris Johnson, because although I’m not his biggest fan (far from it) he has certainly had a big impact on the outcome of all of this. I shall assist you all with your necessities, I will help you because I understand its importance to you.

      Am I scared? No I’m not scared, nor am I fearful. After all, you can’t control everything can you really? That would be ludicrous! I wonder if people realise how patronising that sounds actually… What ever happens happens, whatever in turn of that happening happens and so on and so forth. Believe it or not, I’m actually excited for the future. After all we all know that things only get better with age.

      Congratulations I guess. let’s work to make this right! Oh and for goodness sake, be reasonable…

      A list of things I do on trains

      • Place my phone on the table in front of me at an approximate angle of 45 degrees towards the window
      • Read books
      • Read over people’s shoulders
      • Sleep
      • Surf
      • Engage in the sport of people watching
      • Flick through the metro
      • Have thought showers
      • Scowl at people who cough in my face
      • Answer passengers queries
      • Listen to music
      • Spy on people
      • Watch how the country green turns into a dull urban grey
      • Tut because my train is delayed
      • Poke my tired eyes
      • Bop my head
      • Suss out the conductor
      • Do Tsumego
      • Gaze in awe at the slowness of London overground trains
      • Meditate
      • Headbang
      • Try to figure out if the plane outside the window has taken off or is coming in to land
      • Wink at crows

      I’m pretty worn out today. I slept pretty lightly, last night, so I ended up reading a few books that I received for my birthday. Tomorrow I’m off to London for an event to do with my professional development framework. Today though, I abseiled down the side of my office. I have to tell you, it was pretty great, even if I nearly went smashing into the side of window of Ladymead. I think what’s more impressive is that I didn’t even scuff my shoes. I know what you’re thinking, why didn’t you bring trainers? Honestly I didn’t think about it, besides I could literally run a marathon in my work shoes!

      I’m also very confused as to why I keep receiving stuff from Halifax seeing as I no longer have an account with them. I’m also a bit confused as to why my new ISA providers (the bank that I now have my ISA with) has given me a bit of paper to setup a standing order with when I can just do that through my internet banking controls. Seriously why do people insist on sending me pointless pieces of paper? Still I can’t complain, more stuff to put in the shredder because apparently bin fires make too much smoke…

      This weekend I also have to attend a wedding, which to be honest, I’m not overly fussed about. My family has been making a massive deal about it for about a year, whereas I myself am truthfully not excited by it in the slightest. I suspect I am going to be bored out of my mind, unless there’s a bouncy castle, after all, they’re for big kids too! Surprisingly I am looking forward to going to King’s Cross Station again though to get there. My dad’s side of the family are well how do I put this. They’re not particularly interesting. There are two sides to my dad’s side, there’s the Wornasts and the Nutals. The Nutals are very strange people, but I’m sure they think the same about us.

      Anyway, I have a busy day of navigating London ahead of me tomorrow, so I’ll wrap this one up here. Speak to you all again soon!

      Thirty-Eight Random Questions

      1. What’s something you hide about your personality?

      Probably the fact that I don’t like being left alone for long periods of time. That and all that infernal internal chattering that goes on.

      2. What’s something other people think about you that you don’t agree with?

      A lot of people think that I’m funny. I wouldn’t say that, I’m just telling you how it is.

      3. Why doesn’t Tarzan have a beard?

      If I told you that, you’d be as wise as me 😛

      4. How do you deal with criticism?

      Usually I shrug it off and put it on a list of things to improve.

      5. What’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever done for you?

      Let me think… Nope, got nothing for you there!

      6. What’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever done for someone?

      This is going to sound absolutely pathetic, but I wrote a poem for a girl I liked in year 11. XD

      7. What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you?

      That’s an awful question, let’s move away from the sweet crap for now shall we?

      8. Describe your favourite texture.

      A wavy teal blue with zigzagged reds. It’s rough to touch, but smooth on the eyes.

      9. Which fictional character would you most like to have lunch with and why?

      Probably Alex Woods because he got hit on the head by a meteorite, has a psychic mother and called the bully of his school what most would describe as the most offensive word in the English dictionary! Certainly a legend in my eyes.

      10. Who would you say is your “anti” role model? Someone who serves as a warning rather than an inspiration?

      Probably my uncle Andrew. I am always disappointed every time I see him.

      11. What’s your least “politically correct” opinion?

      Let’s leave this one out shall we?

      12. What kind of underwear do you imagine Sherlock Holmes wears?

      He strikes me as a briefs man. Keeps it all in place when he does all that running around whilst investigating.

      13. What’s one of the most difficult things you’ve ever had to do?

      Mess around with raspberry pis to make a car computer.

      14. If you were an element on the Periodic Table, which would you be and why?

      According to this buzzfeed quiz, I’m plutonium!

      15. What’s the most infuriating thing your parents do?

      My dad still makes me tea even though I have told him a thousand times “No I don’t want tea, you don’t know how to make it!”

      16. Which Disney Princess do you most identify with and why? Which is your favourite and why? And yes- ANYONE can answer this question.

      Right…. I’m fairly sure the reader is judging me for keeping this question in now, but nevertheless, I shall answer this one. Airel because she had red hair and was a mermaid.

      17. You’re an Action Movie Hero. What’s your weapon of choice and the line you scream when defeating your arch enemy?

      Numchucks obviously and ninjas don’t scream because they’re stealthy. Screaming isn’t stealthy.

      18. What’s the silliest fan theory you’ve ever come up with?

      Seriously, where did you find these questions? These are awful!

      19. What did you think about before you fell asleep last night?

      How to enhance the power of lemons and store it.

      20. What’s the oddest term of endearment you’ve ever used or that someone’s used for you?

      Putting the letters z and y after someone’s name.

      21. What motivates you in life?

      Challenge motivates me, the desire to solve problems runs deep within my veins. I seek freedom and variety.

      22. What was something you used to enjoy, but was ruined for you?

      I used to enjoy watching top gear, now though? Oh isn’t it just dreadful.

      23. How do you think you will fare when the Zombie Apocalypse arrives?

      I wrote a post about that back in October 2014, so I reckon I’d probably manage pretty well.

      24. Which mythological creature are you most like?

      I’m probably a manticore. A lion with a scorpion’s tail. Deadly indeed.

      25. Favourite board game.

      Obviously Go.

      26. Describe one of the most awkward experiences of your life.

      Probably the time when a 26 year old woman tried chatting me up.

      27. What’s something that scares you about the future?

      The stability of the global economy.

      28. List 5 quirky things about yourself.

      29. Describe your dream library.

      An underwater library in the south Pacific ocean, with glass windows so I can see the fishes. Of course there must be my clean white chair and plenty of books.

      30. What’s the weirdest item you’ve ever mourned?

      You mean people get attached to objects? Strange world isn’t it.

      31. If you could design an amusement park ride, what would it be like?

      It would be Tetracious obviously.

      32. Do you have any “rules” about food?

      Nah food is food, I just eat it!

      33. What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships?

      Well there’s an equation for that. (AGE/2) + 7. I mean it’s simple. Except in exceptional circumstances.

      34. What’s something you want to do that you’d be embarrassed to tell other people about?

      To be honest I really don’t think I would care what people would think. Everything I want to do sounds amazing to me, not embarrassing.

      35. Describe a time/event in your life that you’re nostalgic for.

      I’m too young for nostalgia…

      36. How do you approach social situations?

      Like a social ninja of course. I’m an extrovert, how else do you expect me to approach them 😛

      37. What is your ideal bed? Why?

      That’s a bit of a sexual question 😉 I must say though that I am a fan of the kingsized beds that you get in a travelodge!

      38. Post a short excerpt from a fanfiction based on your life.

      Alex looked at his watch, it was the wrong time. Well it wasn’t really, it was just attuned to the wrong timezone. He’d always loved airports, it was something to do with flying. As he shuffled through security, he picked up a newspaper to read on the plane. It was the guardian. Alex liked this paper particularly because he could hide behind it. He was on a trip, a trip of a lifetime, a place he had always wanted to go, a place he had always wanted to see. A place where everything would be recognised. Today was that day and this story shall continue no further!

      This week I…

      • Have eaten far too much cake and now feel rather ill.
      • Was surprisingly impressed by my discover weekly playlist.
      • Got my raspberry pi to respond to me by saying “Hey Pi”.
      • Played Hacknet.
      • Ran a bit.
      • Had strange dreams about daleks, fish, oceans and space.
      • Eaten lemons.
      • Been to Guildford’s Waitrose.
      • Bumped into my Ex in Guildford’s Waitrose.
      • Forgotten where Waitrose is in Guildford.
      • Remembered what Dan reminded me of on Sunday.
      • Pulled out some of my old theories.
      • Cut myself whilst shaving for the umpteenth time!
      • Reminded myself to continue to be progressive.

      • Debated about going to spoons
      • Listened to mobile Orchestra.
      • Bought some new chopsticks.
      • Was tempted to buy some genuine shell stones for my Go board.
      • Looked into volunteering at the cat protection place.
      • Got excited about the Zenphone 3 Deluxe which still has no confirmed release date
      • Did some maths for fun.
      • Thought about a virgin credit card so I could get air miles, but then decided against it because I didn’t really know what I was signing up for…
      • Made a massive cock up.
      • Played Go.
      • Upset someone because I was honest with them.
      • Have bounce in my shoes again
      • Did some parkour, although I assure you, I wasn’t that great

      I’ll catch you all again next week, you sneaky ninjas!

      I actually don’t know what to title this one

      None of my birthdays have ever been exactly the same. I guess that’s what everyone could say though I guess. Last year was certainly the most outlandish birthday, in fact it makes the rest of them a bit rubbish by comparison. Still, the day of the birthday does play a vital role. Fridays in my opinion are always better than Sundays, because when Sunday evaporates into its gaseous form, you’re left wondering where exactly the weekend has gone.

      Nineteen is a disappointing age. Still I had a friend round in the morning to watch my favourite film and then I ended up watching angry birds (which wasn’t great) with another. I had to first fix my Linux server, which I had to completely gut from a software point of view. I should’ve just disabled the access controls, but I don’t think my father would be too impressed to lose his security.

      In other news I have given someone the wrong end of the stick, which is apparently something I have a habit of doing. It all makes me feel a bit ill inside. I mean I have a lot of stuff to do this month and most of it, I am very excited about and while I could go on a wild goosechase right now (which would be great and fun and all) I’m far too grounded for that right now. That doesn’t mean that I’m some super serious person, you know I’m not. Anyway I know you’re reading this right now and I’ll talk to you about it when we’re working on the raspberry pi car system. At least I owe you the decency of that.

      Anyway thank you. Everything is going quite swimmingly at the moment, which is strange because usually my theorems fall apart by now. A toast the fourth model I guess!

      Musings Of The Linux Kind

      My computer decided that it was appropriate to wake me up at four o’clock this morning today! Seriously with a whirring like that, I’m surprised it didn’t wake the whole household up. Anyway, for about two minutes, it made a massive fuss and then just suddenly died. I ended up going back to sleep and sleeping through my alarm. Honestly, I knew I should’ve used raspberry pis or something. Saying that I do notice the gentle whirring of fans and I do find it soothing, which I guess people probably find weird.

      Checked the logs, no indication to why it happened, so I guess I have a busy evening ahead of me looking at what exactly it was doing to make all that noise. It’s a shame because I really wanted to go for a run too. I still like Linux a lot though. Everyone in the Linux community is going to probably say “Oh you should’ve used Systemd and not crontab for scheduling” which is ridiculous because I’d have to create both a service file for both the off and on function and then create a timer for each of them. With crontab, literally all I had to do was type in two lines… Yes yes, I know crontab is inefficient and uses more memory, but I’m a filthy script monkey, in essence I’m old Linux. Anyway apparently BT have gone really picky because they won’t let me use alternative DNS servers other than their’s. I mean how great is that? I’d much rather use Google’s thank you very much!

      I’m about 90 percent I’ve lost half of you from the word Linux on this post, so I’ll end this post here. That’s my two cents for the day as per say… Happy Wednesday!

      A Lack Of Common Sense Part Two

      Common sense will have you believe that a 50% increase in quantity is better than a 33% reduction and believe in geocentric theories, which are quite simply not at all the case. In fact a 50% increase in quantity is equivalent to that of a 33% reduction and the earth orbits the sun…

      Essentially common sense is a hodge-podge of accumulated advice, experiences, aphorisms, norms, received wisdom, inherited beliefs, and introspection that is neither coherent nor even internally self-consistent. Then again, it does have its merits when it comes to practical applications of stuff that’s overly simplistic, where everything is effectively assumed.

      Common sense is not something that’s taught, it sort of develops over time. A lot of people say that people who are booksmart don’t have common sense or rather lack it. I wouldn’t say that at all, I’d say that they just stopped listening to it a long time ago and can’t hear the mousy voice of it anymore.

      Anyway as for this pamphlet (brilliant gift by the way) I was tempted to burn it, but I think I will read it now. Who knows, it could be useful in the future. I mean it probably won’t be, but I guess I’ll never know if I don’t try. Time for a cup of tea I think!

      Achoo to you and all your friends

      So hayfever season has started for me, brilliant is it not? I’m one of the lucky ones, I’m only allergic to grass and outdoor mould and I’m a sneezer. Saying that, I do get red eyes sometimes, but it doesn’t happen that often. The advice for hayfever suffers? Stay inside! You know what I say to that “No, I refuse to sit indoors when the sun is out!” June is the month when I used to dive into bushcraft (after my exams of course) and let us be honest, who wants to sit inside all day because I quite frankly would not.

      It isn’t always too bad though. Well I say that, my season this year has only really just started. I can remember summer of year 11 during the AQA GCSE Physics 3 (P3) paper that my nose just dripped over the paper. I ended up pinching my nose with my left hand in the end. You don’t even realise how relieved I was to finally blow my nose when I got out of the exam hall. And then of course at prom I had really bad hayfever because of walking through fields the day before. I had to take regular eye baths to soothe my swollen red eyes. Still, I was fine by the evening, even if what I remember is a convoluted mess of bad dancing and mingling.

      I can remember when I was about 3 or 5, my mother took me to a homeopath in F’Row (that’s Forest Row for those not in the know) I always thought it was just one of my mother’s friends, I didn’t realise she was a homeopath of course. I’m not exactly sure what I was taking, but I remember that they did taste nice. Looking back at it, that’s probably because it was effectively sugar and water. Saying that though, I didn’t have to have antihistamines for a while, in fact the first time I had to visit the GP about hayfever was probably when I was twelve.

      The strange thing was is that I never thought I was allergic to grass because in primary school, everyone used to chuck grass at people… Did I sneeze, get a rash or have itchy and irritable eyes when I got grass chucked at me? No, instead I proceeded to pickup some grass and start what could only be described as a ‘grass war‘. There were some real geniuses back at my primary school though, I wonder how they’re doing now. I wonder if Mr. Critical (as we called him) got as far as he thought he would or whether he got bored along the way. Well I say the word geniuses, there’s another term that I use that describes some of them, but I’ll leave that out for now!

      So hayfever, 1 in 5 of suffer from it apparently according to the metoffice, most of us are allergic to grass pollen, but is generally quite manageable. That’s not to say that it isn’t annoying though because let’s face it, IT IS!.

      Tearoom Days

      The gentle tapping of my keyoard filled the quiet teashop with a sense of tranquility. In my teenage youth, I used to waste all my days in a clattery coffee shop and roll my eyes at the cackhanded and clumsy waitress, who would bring me a luke-warm cappucino as I sat in the corner with my Asus laptop, next to the healthy green butterfly palm. I certainly prefered this place better though, for it provided an almost zen-like experience. Here I could sit all day and drink any tea if I wished and if time permitted of course, which in most cases, it unfortunately did not. I’d always have to rush off somewhere right when I was getting comfortable.

      The tea house belonged to a good friend of mine, who himself was not quite the conesseur of tea as I was. He still didn’t understand the basic ettiquites of holding a teacup. It was not your standard teashop, it was the sort of place where you would sit on a mat on the floor, but there were some normal seating options at the front of the shop for ‘normal‘ people. It was always quiet whenever I went in there, to be honest it was probably still open because of me.

      *Dingaling* The bell of the teashop rang. I continued to tap away, without glancing up. I didn’t run this place, that was Dene’s job. A few seconds past and he obviously hadn’t heard the bell. “Uh Dene, you’ve got a customer,” I said. I waited a few seconds, but there was no response. Honestly I thought, I closed my laptop and stood up. “Hi,” I said in an energetic way, “what can I get you?” She stared at me with vacant eyes from the door, as though she was hypnotised by something, which caused me to frown. I walked over to the counter, filled the kettle with some water and set it to boil. Still she had not moved. “Are you okay there?” I asked. She looked up and then down before finally she beginning walk towards me. “I’m fine thanks I’m new to tea what would you recommend?”
      I fumbled around the cupboards for a jar labelled Nick’s brew. “This will probably do you,” I said as I pulled out the jar and placed a handful of leaves into a penguin shaped tea strainer which I placed into a teapot. “I recommend that you leave it brewing for approximately twelve minutes before consumption,” I said whilst covering my mouth as I yawned. “The WiFi password is lemons4lyf, I’ll write it down for you, enjoy your tea.” I smiled briefly before turning around to sit back at my usual place. I had a bone to pick with Dene, I was not there to serve his customers!

      I looked at my watch, it was flashing red and blue and beeping violently. I flung on my coat, tucked my laptop under my arm, took a final gulp of tea and zoomed out the door, leaving the strange girl to drink strange tea in a strange place.