The First Days Of October

Alex The Weird, Wired and Wacky World Of Alex Wornast 0 Comments

Because I forgot to write anything this weekend have a list of things that I did this weekend instead:

  • Played Minecraft.
  • Ran 20km.
  • Bumped into an old friend from sixth form.
  • Meditated.
  • Burnt candles.
  • Bought more candles.
  • Went on a first aid course.
  • Went to bed ridiculously early.
  • Had porridge with blueberries.
  • Drove around Tunbridge Wells for practise.
  • Completed some stuff
  • Messed around with Java because it didn’t work correctly.
  • Did some more calculations.
  • Remembered.
  • Found a pair of Dr. Marten’s that one of my ex’s bought me.
  • Fixed the remote desktop connection on Renfuku.
  • Cleaned Renfuku.
  • Continued reading last to die, which I really should have finished by now. I’m reading this one ridiculously slowly…
  • Reviewed my plans for Halloween, which is something I don’t even celebrate.
  • Sorted out travel plans for this week.
  • Did the three S’.
  • Read some of my old diaries and mind dumps.
  • Messed around with the Key because paperless train tickets. 
  • Decided that it would be a great idea to read every tweet on my Twitter account and it really was. All 4,199 of them.
  • Reflected on everything I’ve done these past three and a half years.

      Anyway I’m off to get my free tube travel and coffee. Blimey that’s awfully first model of me coffee…

      The most pointless things that are in my house

      Alex General Nuggets, The Weird, Wired and Wacky World Of Alex Wornast 0 Comments

      So I was looking around my house the other day and there are loads of things that we have scattered around the house for the purpose of ‘novelty’ and there’s quite a lot of things that have caused us all to say “oh for goodness sake, why have you bought that?” There’s also a lot of things that we’re keeping as well for some reason. So without further ado, here’s the list 

      A Soft Close Toilet Seat

      Now my upstairs bathroom is very fancy (or so people tell me anyway because of the bidet) but the latest addition dad decided to add was a Soft close toilet seat. I’m sure now I’ve mentioned this, everyone will be playing with it. Basically the soft close aspect means that it doesn’t make a loud clunk noise when you suddenly let go of it. I’m fairly sure no one does that. Well you’d have to be a special kind of special at least to do that…

      A Defuser 

      Something that my mother apparently bought for cooking. I think I’ve ever seen her use it once or twice. 

      A Trouser Press

      I’ve never really seen the point of this. I just pressed the buttons on it when I was younger and thought that it was the most amazing toy in existence. Again this has never been used and I don’t quite understand what It’s for apart from maybe keeping trousers warm and uncreased? 

      A Zenstone MP4 player created by Creative

      Literally has no use now that smartphones exist. 

      Photo Albums From My Childhood

      Sure okay it’s bizarre because in all the pictures of when I was young boy, I had blonde hair. But there’s not really any point in keeping these. Foolishly I have left them in the clutches of my parents, so I’m sure that will haunt me some day.

      My Baby Teeth

      Yes I still have all my baby teeth. I’m not sure why I’m keeping them really if i’m honest. I find them to be pretty cool. Still as prestine clean as when they first fell out. 

      Tapes From My Childhood

      Yes we still have a tape player actually. Why I would want to listen to myself when I was ridiculously young (we’re talking 7) is another question though so my mother’s keeping these for some reason.

      An Old Printer That Doesn’t Work

      Yes I was meant to smash this up for circuit boards for my new feature wall which would go where the train tickets on my wall are, but i never got round to that so it’s just chilling in my wardrobe. 

      A Fireguard That Can’t Be Used When The Fire Is On

      Yes my parents decided to buy a fireguard with acrylic candle holders. This means that when the gas fire is on, these holders will crack which means that it’s guarding you from an unlit fire. Hmm I’m not quite sure who the smart guy or gal who came up with that idea was, but seriously well done there! 

      Jewellery Given To Me From My First Girlfriend

      Sure it was significant when we were going out, but it holds no significance now. Sure I still wear it sometimes, but not very often. It’s just something to observe 

      Results From My Sunspot Study

      The one I did all the work for, but never finished. In year 10 Steve (Mr. Bush) wondered if I would like an extension to that of my GCSE in astronomy. Naturally I said “Of course” because I was (and secretly still am) into astronomy. Some nights I sneak outside just to stare at the stars and evaluate everything. It talks some sense into me sometimes. Of course the results are interesting to look at, but they are a constant reminder to how I never finished that piece of work. Although maybe it would have helped if I still felt as passionately as I used to about astrophysics.   

      A Broken Eiffel Tower

      This one is a funny one, well not funny in a sense that it is humorous, rather funny because it is bizarre for me to keep it. Of course I didn’t buy a broken Eiffel tower, that would be ridiculous, no what actually happened is that I trod on it and rather than fixing it with super glue (which is what I usually do) I just left it how it was and kept it in the same place. I mean you’d chuck that away wouldn’t you?

      So there we have it, these are all the pointless things that I found in my house. What are of yours? Leave a comment and tell me what you find

      Numbers And Figures

      Alex Uncategorised 0 Comments

      Let’s run some calculations, let’s plug in some numbers and see what comes up. Seventy-five chickens twenty ate cows how many didn’t? Not everything is supposed to be methodical, not everything is supposed to be logical. Perhaps I’m a fool for trying to explain the unexplainable. Every model has had a system, a method. The first model was the greatest of these models, the most powerful, the most intelligent, but while he loved chaos, his world was methodical, extremely methodical and it worked. As I look at the person I used to be, I wonder what happened to him. What was the plan in all of this? What broke the first model, what forced me to become like this? I thought I was better than this, but I’m obviously not. 

      What’s my problem? If I could tell you I would, but the problem lies below the surface of ny mind in the subconscious where a version of myself sits in a library reading books. He’s constantly observing. Maybe I should’ve explained this, maybe I should have told you this, but you wouldn’t care, so there’s no point. You’d simply shrug and say that’s interesting, it’s what most people would do I guess, because what else would people say? Most people wouldn’t split parts of their life to be completely different people, but unfortunately I cannot deny that I have been four completely different people, the difference between all of these are the ideologies. Perhaps it’s time I asked what is the question. Maybe the answer will only reveal itself once it has occurred.

      The question is though how many questions must a man answer before he can ask the one question that he needs ask to find his answer. I reckon it’s an awful lot. I’ve been searching for an answer for a very long time. Perhaps the answer has been found but will not surface, who knows, who cares. Perhaps I shouldn’t. Maybe you don’t trust the library Alex. Maybe he is evil, but if that’s the cass, that’s what you’re going to end up like. You can’t fight it, well you can but you won’t win, after all this is only a crack in the castle of glass. You can’t see it, but I guess it is significant because many cracks would cause a shattering. Stop the cracks and you can stop the castle and by extension, the kingdom. 

      Take out the Queen and you effectively remove most threats disable, the castles and you effectively disable the board. Take out the dominance and nothing really fights, nothing really bites back, nothing will ever scare you. Without feeling scared, you feel safe and who wants to feel safe? There is no safety, only the illusion. Little risk DOES NOT mean no risk. IT ALWAYS EXISTS. Maybe you don’t operate a cause to effect system, maybe that’s not the way you operate. I’m not saying you should, but it may be useful of course. 

      So how do I end this? I could continue to waffle on till eternity and let my mind dump words on a page as if it were a landfill site. But I shan’t, I shouldn’t at least. It’s not a good idea. Perhaps this post was not a good idea, but it’s better than nothing. It will serve its purpose and that my dear friend is ever so satisfactory. 

      Oh and one more thing. Keep going won’t you? Remember, this is what you do! 

      I Didn’t Want To Do This But You Leave Me No Choice

      Alex General Nuggets 0 Comments

      Oh so you want a war now do you? I accept your challenge; I do suspect that we’ll end up like Russia and America on this one. We have enough nukes to blow each other to kingdom come, but would you really want to risk it all for this? Let me warn you, I know how to play the game, I know the rules and my determination will ensure that I cannot lose. Gambling is not a fool’s game, it’s something highly successful people thrive at. It’s all about risk if you want the reward that is. Can you take a calculated risk? Of course you can, you’re a psychopath ask anyone, that’s what they say you are, that’s what you say you are. Unfortunately there’s not much original about you, if I had been a cadet and not a Scout, I think we’d have been pretty much be identical. Maybe that’s what scares me, the fact that I could have turned out like you. 

      Yeah back in the day I used to respect you, but well you have made a bit of a mess recently. It annoys me because I can’t comprehend your masochistic personality. I guess to you it may not seem like you are inflicting upon yourself, after all I too find it difficult to take anything too seriously now. Now I know you have something to say to me so you might as well say it. Seriously I insist that you do. You will make so much easier. Oh but you love the complexity don’t you. You love the rush that the game gives you. Controlled only by your senses, because that is what makes sense to you. 

      Why am I asking questions recently? Because you are asking me questions good sir. Sure not many, but I know you have something to say, so for goodness sake just say it! You won’t say it I know you won’t. Maybe you are too proud to admit it. What do you get out of this? Why do you think this is a good idea when I’m not so certain. When I think back, I knew what I was signing up for. I knew what would happen, but I kept going. The crazy became normality, the chaos became my life. If I sat back for a while, the whole street would be ablaze. Unfortunately I am very humanitarian person. 

      So ready your army. If you want a war then we’ll have our war. Make your move I dare you. Play as dirty as you like. Because while you set out to destroy I set out to heal. As protector of man, it is my duty. Maybe my causes are futile and you might even question what i’m even doing. Like I told you, I’m on no one’s side, I’m purely an observer. Just say what you need to say so we can all get on with our lives. At the end of the day though remember that it’s your choice! I don’t want to have to stop you, but I will have to bring you down to size if you get in my way. 

      This is how it has always worked, I’m not evil, I don’t want to be hostile, I don’t try to be either. I know you keep telling me you don’t have a problem, you know I can’t believe that. So let’s sort this. Round one, move one let’s start. Do your worst!

      Google Allo

      Allo Allo, Google’s Doing Smart Messaging

      Alex Apps, Computers, Mobiles 0 Comments

      Smart seems to be a word that’s popping up everywhere recently. We have smart phones, smart homes, even smart watches. Now we have ‘smart messaging.’ Of course I say smart, these things aren’t really smart, but they’re certainly not dumb to say the least either.

      So what is smart messaging as such?

      Smart messaging (from what I’ve gathered at least) is taking a messaging app and adding what’s known as assistance to it to make your life easier. Actually the word smart in most concepts of technology means to make your life easier, which actually was supposed to be the purpose of the in the beginning he says. By assistance I don’t mean adding magnifiers or daft text narration and speech dictation, because quite simply, that’s not smart, it’s just useful for some users, but a hindrance to most of the populace. What I mean by assistance is adding an embedded personal assistant to a messaging app, like Siri or Cortana, except that it’s  obviously powered by Google and not Apple or Microsoft. The app is available (or rather it will be when this post is released I hope) for both IOS and Android devices.

      Why on earth would I want this?

      Okay for the majority of use cases, you’re probably not going to need to use the assistance. It’s more of a gimmick. For example, am I really going to shout at my phone to show you that I am angry? No of course not, that would be daft! Might I share with you a recipe for something to cook tonight? Possibly but I’m assuming you can cook now. It could be very useful however if you needed to share your location, although Skype already has this feature.

      Smart reply

      Now if you want to say for example “ah okay” in response to a message, instead of typing “ah okay” every single time

      Incognito chats

      There have been times when you’ve probably thought you’d really rather keep these chats to yourself and while yes you could just delete the thread, in Google Allo, you could just as easily make it an incognito chat.

      So tell me again why I should install this?

      If you’re the sort of person who likes the look of Facebook messenger and can convince all your friends to download Google Allo then (because you can’t send SMS from it at the moment) then go ahead.

      Do you like it?

      Well I’m going to be honest with you, I really liked the sound of it but it doesn’t work like i expected it to. For example I would have expected you would be able to send SMS through Google Allo. As of yet you can’t, but you can invite them. It kind of defeats object. It’s also sending messages without end to end encryption by default which means that the Google assistant can read all those saucy messages that you’re sending to that girl/guy right now! Well that is if you have the app installed of course, otherwise your safe. Or are you?

      So no I don’t like it at the moment but I see its potential.


      Google’s Allo is effectively a reboot of the Google Hangouts app with cosmetic changes and a fancy digital assistant with features such as incognito chat and better speech recognition that detects when you’re shouting and adjusts the size of the text. It looks a bit like Facebook messenger, but it’s certainly a lot more intelligent. But I seriously question its usefulness right now but maybe that’s my defeatist. Oh yes and it will also probably spy on you, but that’s to be expected considering everything is spying on you already right?

      I’m Not Schizophrenic, It’s One Of “These” Posts Again

      Alex Uncategorised 0 Comments

      Warning the following post contains a little bit of bad language

      Right let’s go. This attempt two, last time we did this it was back in March and there were only three of us. Now there are five of us. So let’s start. We’re heading anticlockwise go. 

      Okay anticlockwise sounds like an M25 travel report you know the large circular motorway 

      So Alex just did a big laugh and scared us all. So I don’t know what to say at all because I’ve never blogged. All I can feel is myself a little tipsy from a small cocktail I am a huge light weight. But we’re Pokémon hunting WOIIIOI. Hahahaha blogging is harder than I thought. And if someone is 6ft, then they are as tall as 6 1ft subways. And now Alex is dreading some stuff because of something. No change there then. oh man good luck! I’m just typing random shit now and my eyes hurt like hell and I need a hug hahahaha I’ll shut up now. 

      Well, after a tangent longer than the build-up to the EU referendum and an equally perplexing result, it’s my turn to give this blogging lark a shot. I shan’t pretend to have any interesting content to offer, but I am able to offer a more realistic approach to most standard aspects of life. Take blogging as an example. The prospect of whittering on about personal affairs to an audience of largely complete strangers, with no foreseeable end to the ramblings and no solution to any issues, seems entirely pointless… unless to vent frustration to a mass of individuals in the hopes that doing so would provide some kind of emotional closure… Ah. I see the point now. Uh, do carry on.

      Well after Hadokens rant up there I’m not really sure what to say, so yes… Blogs. I’m not a huge blogger but I suppose I can pretend to be an intellectual, master of the art of words. I enjoy nights in spoons with this oddball crew, we will probably venture to McDonald’s later so Alpha Nerd Alex can dip an apple pie in a mcflurry. I’m enjoying myself ^-^

      Fat chance of that happening considering I’ve just eaten six pancakes. So let’s have a topic because so far there is nothing worth talking about. So yes I swear too much I think so let’s talk about swearing because why on earth not. How many times on average do you guys swear in a day?

      The answer is alcohol what was the question?

      Swearing…. I swear when I am angry, I swear when I am sad, I swear whenever the fuck I want because it’s now in my vocabulary. It’s a way to vent off and it’s satisfying. When something annoys me or I am upset, I shall use the sailor language because it’s better than violence. Sometimes I swear when I am happy as well because when something just goes so well you just want to shout from the rooftops that something has finally gone your way. Sadly at The moment I haven’t had that moment but hopefully I will. The spongebob episode of him and Patrick swearing is the first time I knew about swearing so that’s a great episode yeahhh fucking great. 

      I’d like to forward this by saying that swearing is considered to be a sign of an advanced vocabulary. On which note, fuck yeah I swear. I swear all day every day, to the point that I begin sentences with “fucking”. Y’know what I mean: “Fuckin’, dude, tryin’ to avoid Breath of the Wild spoilers on Facebook is like trying to avoid stupid on tumblr.’ Swears become adjectives, nouns, verbs, they’re just so gloriously versatile; who wouldn’t appreciate such diversity in language? Besides, nothing quite dispenses with irritating company like ‘fuck off’ does.

      Fuck off 

      Well that was rude… I don’t think I want to talk anymore :c

      Okay I’m slightly weirded out, one Simon’s work colleagues just said hello and complimented me on my shirt and my shoes, so I’m going to be honest with you that was weird. They also contributed one of the paragraphs of in this post, so thank you for your insight on that one. It was certainly creative… Anyway I’m going to round this off here. Thank you everyone!

      Chapter 2: Gentle Sipping

      Alex Short Stories, The Tea, The Nerd And The Raine 0 Comments

      For chapter one click here!

      I scribbled frantically as the phone rang. Mark asked if me if he wanted him to answer it, but the whole situation was irritating me. “Go for Nick,” I answered in a resigned and defeated voice. I knew what this was, I knew what this meant. My plan had to work, if it didn’t then everything I worked so hard on would fail.


      Dene had finished doing whatever he was doing in the basement of the tea shop. He was not the brightest of people and he was dreadfully slow at thinking. Raine (who was the name of the girl that had stepped into the tea shop earlier) was still there texting away on her phone taking an occasional sip. Like she’d said earlier, she had never drank tea before, so she wasn’t quite aware of all of the customs and etiquettes of drinking the stuff. Thankfully Nick’s brew was a blended variety that seemed to suit anyone’s taste. It had a vanilla aftertaste, but the overall flavour wasn’t too overpowering. To Nick, tea was a science. He had experimented for years with different ingredients and it had taken him five years to figure out this tea, which is what he described as a ‘truly magical blend’. If he was a robot then this was his oil, even though half of the people he met didn’t think he was a human. 

      As Dene emerged from behind the counter, he noticed that Nick had left. He was about to go back down to the basement when he saw a book left on Nick’s table. Nick had a habit of taking off and leaving his book. This one was an advanced tsumego book, which was strange because Nick usually full of PDFs containing exactly that. “Excuse me,” said Dene to Raine. “Do you know where Nick went?”.
      “No I’m sorry, he said that you were ‘lazy and inefficient’, gave me this tea and sat back down, swore and ran off really fast.” Dene shrugged and smiled at her. He thought nothing of it. Most people would have been freaked out about a book with the words inscribed “life and death” into the book cover. 

      Nick always left notes in books. When he was younger, he used to scribble (and I say scribble because he handwriting was barely legible) to exactly where he was going, what he would be doing and what time he would be back. It was the perfect place to put it because only the person who requires to know would see it, because most people don’t read books that have been left on the table, well this is at least what Nick had always observed when he said to his parents “didn’t you read the book?” Unfortunately, in this tale no one actually opened the book so you will never know the message that Nick left. 

      Raine asked Dene if he knew where Nick had ran off to, Dene shrugged and tried not to make eye-contact. Despite the fact that he ran a teashop, he was not the most socially aware person on the planet. He was a tad awkward most of the time and embarrassed by his hobbies. As he shrugged he thought about this, he didn’t quite understand it. He had noticed Nick to be a very erratic person at times, but he’d never really thought about it until now. He’s always let it slide, but now he  posed questions as to who he really was. He sent him a text that read the following “What the hell is going on, there’s a strange girl asking where you are.” But he got no response. Quite clearly something was up, but Dene would never clock it, he thought too slow and thought too realistically. Nick himself was riddled with chaos, which is why many people were both drawn to him and could never understand him. “I assume he served you,” said Dene. Raine nodded and shrugged. That’s really all she could do. She continued to text, but was truthfully bored, she had to know more about Nick. She asked Dene for Nick’s number and began to formulate a text. This is what she did. This was how it started, oh people would be judging her for this if they ever found out, but she suspected the risk would be greater than the reward. 


      Alex Uncategorised 0 Comments

      The clock read 05:30AM. I turned on the radio because I didn’t feel sleepy. It was raining outside so I stepped outside and allowed myself get drenched, I almost forgot I was standing outside until I looked at my watch. I figured that it was best to book a Travelodge rather than annoy my parents more after my huge shouting match on Tuesday. Quite clearly I couldn’t control the white hot rage that’s been flowing through my veins this week. I’ve chucked myself into my work, I’ve been out in Guildford,  I’ve purposely made myself busy because that’s all I can do. It’s what I want to do and it’s what I should be doing because busyness is what makes me feel resolved. 

      You sat at the table with me in the canteen as I was eating breakfast and solving Tsumego puzzles, you asked me what I was doing and you asked me how I could solve these puzzles just by looking at them. I simply looked up for a second, I looked you right in the eyes, blinked and replied “practise” before I shifted my gaze once again to the screen. My breakfast was six black puddings, black pudding is an English breakfast items made from most things pig including its blood. I had a carton of pineapple juice to the right-hand side of me, a whole lemon to my left and a the little SAS book  along with my laptop in front of me. I had a pen and a notebook that I would write the solutions to the life and death problems. 

      Now for those who don’t know anything about Go, there are puzzles that regard the life and death of stones. These are called Tsumego. The aim of Tsumego is to keep your stones alive and possibly kill the oppositions stones. It’s ridiculously strategic and has more combinations than there are known atoms in the universe. 

      This was my mind rebuilding itself, reverting itself to standard operating procedures it created in February. I shouted at a tree. My mind was reforming itself, it was calculating the square root of a lemon, the subconscious processing was continuing as it has done since I was born, perhaps even longer. It was creating, it was innovating bringing new ideas to a burnt out and defeated model. This was the beginning, it was beginning to heal, it was understanding, it shrugged and the monkeys all suddenly shut up. It glared at them, it sneered at them. It was not pleased with them so it threw them against the wall. 

      Doubt was shattered like glass across the floor. My mind smiled maniacally, there was evil in its eyes. “Well,” it said to me “harder than you thought wasn’t it?” I looked at it, I tried to understand it, but consciousness cannot fully understand semiconsciousness. “Someone told me this model would be unsure, it’s the one that’s been exposed to the most chaos, but that’s probably its own fault because of its resilience. One thing’s for certain, it’s determined oh and it cares. It possesses good people skills as it always has done and it’s restless. Sure it’s moving quickly, but you’ll have to move quicker do you understand me? Know that it’s okay to leave some things undecided, but don’t let that control your life. One final thing, you expect too much because you want people to be better than they actually are. That’s why you’re disappointed, well were disappointed. Whatever! Just get back out there, you’re not done yet. ” 

      A Perfectly Disjointed Post, Just Like My Driving

      Alex Uncategorised 0 Comments

      Seriously someone move that pigeon! It’s been two whole weeks why is it still here? 

      I can’t believe it’s still here and I’m not even sure if it is a pigeon now actually taking a look at it. I honestly think I’m gonna miss waiting for trains in October when I’ll be cursing (maybe cruising if I’m lucky) the UKs biggest carpark (otherwise known as the M25) and spending every other weekend away from home. I’ve wanted this for a while. I remember in the beginning when one of my friends Dan told me about a dream he had. It went something like this. He and some of his housemates (from first year) and his mum (apparently) were in Brighton for some reason. I plugged in a laptop to my car because I claimed that it would “Do the steering for me”. As you can imagine the dream ended in a car crash, but for a few moments apparently the car was actually in zero gravity mode. Or at least this is what Dan claims about his dream. I can’t quite remember what he said but there was something about a hill. Either way I was like “woaaaah man. That’s trippy.” When he told me all about these. 

      Now the surprising thing is that at the time I was working on numerous ideas about modifications I could make to the car, but I don’t think anyone knew I was doing anything like this until late May. One of the things I was working on with one of my friends (until I found out she was completely crazy) was a raspberry pi car computer system. I’d done a bit of research into setups people had come up with and I decided it was a good idea to try it. So we found a car and boy did that cost a bomb to insure, well I say we found a car, we just used her Peugeot 206 which was apparently made in 2002. Let me tell you I could tell. 

      I honestly thought my Dad would share more enthusiasm that I was finally taking an interest in cars considering his heavy background of engineering.Grandma tells me all about it still when I talk to her on the phone. My dad did give me a strange look when I started talking about fibreglass dashboards though, which is probably because he couldn’t imagine me doing this because I’ve always worked with my head more than with my hands. My parents are very strange creatures though. When someone turns up at the house and they say “They’re waiting for me” and I don’t want to talk to them, it does not mean that you should allow them to stay and offer them scones… I’m sure one or two of you reading this will remember when I first told you that story when I was on the third week of a Java course in London. I guess I have to give Jonesy a bit of credit though, even if there was always something she wanted me to do with her car. Now she drives the fanciest 206 in all the land ? 

      Don’t get me wrong it was fun and I never had to pay a penny for the parts and I got treated like a king with all the tea and biscuits I was given, but all good things have to come to an end eventually especially if you can’t give someone exactly what they want. Anyway where was I? Oh yes driving

      Now I would describe my driving to be interesting. I mean when I’m in the car I don’t actually notice that the radio is on until someone turns it off because of the utter tut that comes out of it. I used to be a very nervous driver in the beginning, but that’s probably because I had my first lessons in Guildford, which is apparently (so I’m told) a very hard place to drive. I guess those words must hold some truth because everywhere else I’ve driven has been a cake-walk. On my intensive course, my instructor asked if I had been on a dual carriageway before. I chuckled because that was my second lesson in Guildford. No wonder I came back in after lunch on Thursdays shaking like a leaf… I find it funny that my father thinks music affects my driving. On Tuesday he said “have you eaten rocket fuel this morning?” He then turned off the radio, which I didn’t even notice was on, because he thought I’d drive slower. I think he was very surprised that it didn’t have any effect. 

      My driving style really does depend on the person sitting next to me though. If it’s dad I become an angry driver, if it’s mum I become more cautious and if it’s my instructor I drive naturally. I’ve got a month to iron out all the kinks though now and I feel comfortable with driving now. The nicest car that I have driven (well in my opinion it felt the most natural to) was definitely the Hyundai i10 I drove last week. I didn’t feel much love for the fiesta and my mother’s Citroen, well let’s just say I’m not quite sure what its game is yet. Let’s just say I have some sort of love hate relationship with its cheap and flimsy feeling pedals. 

      Anyway I’m sure everything will be fine. I just need to keep practising. Ta rah for now

      A letter from a subconscious muttering

      Alex Uncategorised 2 Comments

      Dear Alex,

      Do you remember last year? I think you do. Does it feel like much has changed, because truthfully it hasn’t. Sure you’ve done things, you’ve been extremely unconventional to your usual state, but technically you’re still the same. Things might seem like they’re in turmoil right now, things might seem like they’re falling apart, but that’s only because you’re not applying what you’ve been learning. At the moment you really are lacking in self-discipline and letting your desires take over. Last week was a turning point, you shut the monkey up. Sure you let it make a right mess of things and nearly caused a full on nuclear war, that could still happen, but I suspect you won’t allow that now will you? Would you be stupid enough to let that happen, or are you truly naive and idiotic enough to let it happen. Who would it benefit? What would it achieve to serve the bonds and allow fission to occur? Are you trusted Wornast, because I don’t think that you are. You may not be destructive and you do not try to be, but people fear your potential to be destructive and above all they fear your unpredictability, after all we’re not all used to uncertainty like you are. 

      The potential of certain people has angered you recently, but you shouldn’t be too angry that you couldn’t get to them. Once, a while ago, you were an angry person do you really want to be like that again? I suspected that you didn’t. While your divine rage got you to where you are today, it doesn’t mean that it will get you where you want to be nor where you need to be. So what will you need to do? I think you already know that answer, but you need to allow your mind to rebuild itself to the level of strength that it possessed just a few years ago. Give it time, give  it all the time it needs

      A Tuesday Mind Dump

      Alex Uncategorised 0 Comments

      There was a dead pigeon on the train track this morning. I’m not really sure how to feel about it. I think way too much about things, miss the obvious and adopt the opinions of others to shape who I think I am. I used to think everything about me was complicated, that I needed a whiteboard to explain it all, but after last night I realise that I’ve been extremely moronic. The complicated part is just stuff and stuff isn’t necessarily important. I mean there’s only one thing that still applies and that is the 75th principal. If someone asked me to describe who I am or who I think I am, I’d simply shrug and say It doesn’t really matter does it? the world is so backward because no one cares. We smile, we wave, we say hello and ask each other how they are, but we don’t really care about the answers. No one understands anyone, but that’s probably only because everyone shuts everyone out to a certain degree. Everyone shows you want you want to see and only what you want to see, no one wants to show vulnerability, for fear of appearing weak. 

      Eventually, if you keep thinking this way you begin to live life in a dream, it all begins to feel like a game. It’s enough to turn any good person cold. When I was working on certaceptation (which I only stopped working on because I was getting nowhere with it) I realised that something is only complicated if you want it to be. Anything can be simplified, but it what is simple to me might not be simple to them.

      So what do I think? Recently I’ve said “I don’t know” a lot because a lot of the time I really don’t know what to think anymore. Nothing much really matters to me, nothing really scares me. The way I see it is everything works, but I don’t know what reality is anymore. Every time I’ve  “let someone in” in the past, I’ve usually regretted it. Yesterday was different. I want this person to know me and I want to know them, because truthfully I do care about them. 

      Everyone’s life is different, but in some cases the configurations can be similar. I mean I do make bad decisions when it comes to my personal life, but good decisions in my professional life. I guess I should draw up some plans, after all it’s what I know, it’s what I do. I mean if I didn’t have a plan, I’d end up somewhere, buy I’d feel like I’d be going on a wild goose chase. It’d feel foggy to say the least. I’m not worried if I was worried I’d be shouting down the houses and people would know about it. Being secretive isn’t me after all. 

      Neutrality is something I don’t really like, I’ll work with it though. I mean it’s not necessarily good nor is it necessarily bad. It’s just something that I’m not terribly used to. *Shrugs* that can’t last forever. 

      Clearing Things Up

      Alex Uncategorised 0 Comments

      So my phone has just died on me, not sure what’s happened, probably heat damage or something considering it was sitting out in the sun the other day. It knew it was on its way out I guess, begrudgingly though, the phone I was going to get to replace it hasn’t been released yet. I remember having the same dilemma with my Nokia lumia exactly two years ago to this date, although that was an entirely different situation altogether, when it decided to fall out of my pocket and tumble into the toilet that I had just used. So for now I’ve bought a cheap nasty phone with a massive 4150mAh battery that’s only here for probably a month I hope! I do feel sorry for it though because blimey I have put that phone through a hell of a lot. I don’t even know how it survived six months let alone two years. Yes I am a phone wrecker it seems. Anyway, I’ve yet again gone on a massive tangent. Before I make a start on the post however, I’d like to thank SC, DM, DT, ER and HB.

      So last week (the week beginning the 14th of August) was not a great week. The week for me always begins on a Sunday. People always ask me “why does your week start on a Sunday” to which I usually respond with some convoluted explanation that no one can ever understand. I actually had to result in drinking espressos as a mood booster, despite the fact that I’m an avid tea drinker. Of course drinking eleven espressos a day was probably not the best of ideas because I did feel rather queezy by midday. Anyway on Sunday I ended up going kayaking at Ardingly resevoir with a girl who has been messing around with raspberry pis with for quite a while now and it wasn’t actually half bad. They’re also a bit of an idiot because I’ve spent far too much time messing around with her Peugeot. On Monday it was a friend of mine’s birthday where I ended up getting fed up and leaving early and going to bed ridiculously early. My low mood resulted in me spending more time with this girl, but I had a huge arguement with her on Saturday when I had one of the most massive arguements of my life with her, which is now enough to put me off relationships for now at least.

      On my blogging break, I’ve spent a lot of time reading and thinking about what I want and I’ve also spent a lot of time complaining and listening to other people’s opinions on the matter. Trying to figure out what you want might sound like an easy task, but as Morgan Freeman said in Bruce Almighty “Yeah. But since when does anyone have a clue about what they want?” At the time people told me to do what I wanted to do and if I’m honest I had no idea. I ended up buying a lot of things, which is strange because I’ve never really been someone who spends a lot of money. After reviewing everything that’s happened in the past few weeks I’ve actually realised that not a lot of things matter that much to me. I mean my life is pretty much there, all I have to do is keep doing what I’m doing.

       I shall be back soon! 


      Catch You Later ?

      Alex The Weird, Wired and Wacky World Of Alex Wornast 0 Comments

      Well here we are in the middle of July in the year of 2016. July is always the week when everything happens, I know that’s pretty vague because define the term everything! Usually I love to tell people what’s going on, but right now, I think I need to be alone and to keep this all under lock and key. When I say that I’m busy, I’m not pushing anyone away, when I say that I have other plans, it really does mean that I have other plans.

      I love blogging, it loosens up the mind, keeps it well oiled and makes it as sharp as a tack. Right now, I need to have some time to think, some time to bask in the glorious sunshine and some time to read some books under my favourite tree. Some of you will find your way to me. But here’s the thing, I will be taking a long break and I don’t exactly know when I will be back.

      These past two and a half years have been great and I’ve certainly come a long way since I first started. I mean I’ve been many different people and I’m going to keep being different 😛 I’d like to thank you, my loyal readers, I know every blogger says this, but you really make all this worthwhile and I’m sure that I will have many stories to tell you and to share with you all upon my return!

      I’m getting a bit dramatic here, all I’m really doing is going on blogging holiday… That’s a blogging vacation for my transatlantic cousins!

      Anyway this Alex Wornast Signing off for the summer!

      Catch You Later ?

      It Doesn’t Matter Now

      Alex Creative Writing 0 Comments

      Well I honestly have no idea why your name is there, but it is. I didn’t think that I knew you back then. I mean I knew your face, I knew your name, I knew that you did GCSE astronomy in year nine; I can only assume you knew just as much about me. Your name is there in your own handwriting, I honestly have no recollection of how it got there. As I write this, I’m crossreferencing, I’m over analysing the facts, I’m searching for an answer that doesn’t exist. All the evidence I need however, is on my desk.

      I have to admit back in those days, you weren’t even on my radar.Perhaps if I’d taken an interest in the desks behind me in Biology instead of making friends with a dickishly smart Boris Johnson lookalike (who my best friend at the time apparently despised) then things would’ve been different. I was far too nerdy for my own good back then, perhaps you were the same. I do suspect you weren’t obsessed with mathematical models and I do suspect you were the girl who would’ve shattered my rationality into billions of tiny pieces. Either way though, I’m glad that things aren’t different. 

      I’m no mind reader and I’m no psychologist either.Do you really think if I had the chance to become a student of the mind, that I’d give it up? I couldn’t tell what you wanted, but I suspected, I have my suspicions even to this day, but I keep them to myself. I never wanted to build rapport. Perhaps you’re not sure, after all you are indecsive even if you won’t admit it. Perhaps if you did admit it, you’d think that I’d think less of you. In many ways, I wondered if it was my inherrent nerdiness that put you off. But there is one thing that stands out above many things, our manipulative minds that obviously seek out different desires.

      Perhaps the problem is the alchemy, the obsession with perfect models in an imperfect world. The models are rubbish, you know that, even I know that. They’re not even best fit. The byproduct of these is of course ‘Yennacism’, not that you know what I’m talking about. It’s most likely jibberish to you. Although even after all this time, I can’t help thinking what is in that scheming head of yours, what your next move will be and where exactly you will strike next. I hate to say it though, but if you think you have me all figured out, then you’ve barely scratched the surface. Either way none of this matters any more does it really? We’re both very highly successful people. We share many things, but while you are impressed by many things, I am not so easy to please. No, I think I get it, I think I understand, it’s none of my business anyway. If that is the way, if that truly is the way, then that is how it must be. But let’s face it, doesn’t really matter though now does it?

      Well I’ll let you be the judge of that as it’s not significant enough to me as it was a few months ago.

      The Third Weekend Of July

      Alex Uncategorised 0 Comments

      Things have become hectic recently. Everything is go! But enough about that, I’ll get round to that when things start quietening down and I can begin to see the carpet again. Anyway, here’s a run down of this weekend:

      • Had a ridiculously hot bath.
      • Went to Tunbridge Wells.
      • Bought some new jeans in the next sale.
      • Went for a row in Dunorlan Park.
      • Got home about two.
      • Made egg salad for lunch.
      • Sorted out my bean bag.
      • Played pokémon go.
      • Bumped into a friend of mine who was apparently calling my name for ages.
      • Found out that my pub was a pokéstop, so I had a quick rum and coke in there.
      • Watched the thick of it (a political satire with a generous amount of swearing in it).
      • Studied some tsumego for a few hours. 
      • Read some psychological thrillers.
      • Made a right mess while removing some stuffing from my bean bag. there were polystyrene balls everywhere!
      • Went to bed early because I had to get up at 04:30AM on a Sunday to sell some rubbish at a car boot fair.
      • Sold some rubbish at a car boot fair.
      • Had a look at the donkey derby on King George’s field.
      • Friend of mine asked me to come round and fix her car, which is the Renault she picked up at a scrap yard a few months ago that I ended up fixing up for her. 
      • Blasted ‘she will be loved’ by maroon 5 in the hot sunshine as I messed around with it. 
      • We went to the forest to test if it was fixed.
      • Turns out that there’s a problem with the alternator. 
      • Walked home in defeat.
      • Got home about three.
      • Watched a scouts guide to the zombie apocalypse.
      • Played a puzzle game that primarily consists of hacking into computers.
      • Flew a plane from Gatwick to Geneva (on FSX).
      • Went to pizza express. 
      • Had a dream about inviting some of my friends round to play a strategy game that I don’t think exists.

      And finally I ran out of pineapple juice!!!


          Gabbling With Pokémon Go

          Alex Extreme Scoffery, General Nuggets, Get You Thinking, The Weird, Wired and Wacky World Of Alex Wornast 0 Comments

          Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, the moment you have all be waiting for, it’s time for me to talk about the new mobile game for mobile that’s taking the world by storm.

          So My Friend Who Went To Sunny Mexico Played It

          They asked me the stupid question of “Have you heard of Pokémon go.” needless to say, I pretty much listed the entire series of Pokémon games apart from a few gameboy colour games and the latest versions. If I’m honest the entire idea of it sounded a little bit rubbish, but after downloading it for myself, I realised it was something that I actually liked.

          It’s Pokémon Meets Geocaching In An Epic Augmented Reality Experience

          Okay I’ll admit, I’ve bigged it up massively here. What I mean to say is it’s alright, it’s not perfect, but it’s good enough.

          Basically You Go Walking Around Hunting For Pokémon

          That’s a lot of karp….

          This is pretty much the starting point of everything. You gain experience from catching Pokémon and visiting pokéstops

          There’s Places You Can Visit

          Pokéstops can be anywhere. It just so happens that this one is on my train route.

          No prizes for guessing that they’re called pokéstops. You can get items, pokéballs and eggs from these sites. You have to spin the bit in the middle though to get it to work. After spinning you will gain experience and various items. It will also turn purple for five minutes which means that during that time you will be unable to use it again.

          And Of Course There Are Gyms

          You have to be level 5 to battle in a gym of course. At level 5 you’ll also be asked to choose which team you want to be part of. You have a choice of three which are instinct, mystic and valor. Teams control the Gyms and will show the respective team’s colour. You can a Pokémon in a gym if it white, which shows that it is unclaimed.

          A gym controlled by team Valor

          But It’s Novelty Soon Wears Off

          He says after spending an entire lunchtime outside trying to find Pokémon…

          And While The Capture Mechanics Are Cool, I Can’t Help Thinking, They Could’ve Been Better

          My favourite Pokémon game would have to be Pokémon ranger for the Nintendo DS. You know, that one where you ended up scratching your screen due to all the rapid loop drawing that you had to do around the Pokémon. Seriously though, if you’ve never played them, play them now or come to my house! I mean compared to the games that I’m used to, the capture mechanics are a little bit too simplistic for me.

          Not To Mention The Evolution Mechanics Aren’t Great Either

          It uses a system called candies and for your Pokémon to evolve you have to acquire a certain number of candies from catching Multiples of that Pokémon. Let me tell you, it’s a bit of a grind


          But At Least Eggs Work The Same Way

          Basically you put the egg in an incubator and walk. Nothing has really changed there at all.

          But In Some Cases, It Really Isn’t Worth Hatching Them…

          Seriously I walked two miles just to watch a Magikarp hatch from an egg… You can make an assumption that I was not particularly impressed. I wouldn’t have minded so much if it didn’t require 400 (YES 400) Magikarp candies to evolve into Gyarados. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that’s gonna take a while does it?

          Did I Mention That It’s Only Officially Out In The UK As Of Yesterday

          Of course I like many other’s just downloaded an apk, but I can confirm that it has officially been released in the UK now. Which is pretty great!

          Also You Can Spot People A Mile Off Who Are Playing It

          They’re just walking around with their phone in their hand and then they’ll suddenly just stop. Then if they’ve got the AR on, you’ll see them making an absolute complete fool of themselves whilst trying to find where the Pokémon actually is. Otherwise, they’ll just look a bit shifty and weird. Some of them may even be so engrossed in their device, that they won’t see your car either. For goodness sake, be careful….

          So My Final Verdict?

          Oh it’s atrocious, but I love it!

          Note: Images are not mine, screenshots are of official gameplay from my own mobile device. I do not hold the rights to any of the imagery.

          The dilemma

          Alex The Tea, The Nerd And The Raine 0 Comments

          I ran, I ran and I ran, barging through people without a singular shred of regard for them. I was in trouble, I knew that. My watch continued to flash more violently as I continued to sprint through the masses. “Move out of the bloody way!” I said in an aggressive manner to the slow bumbling people. My patience was dwindling like a the glow of a dying fire, hot white anger and frustration was making its way through my veins.

          After running for fifteen minutes, I had arrived. I sat down in the chair and drummed on the table in an inpatient manner. A fingerprint and an iris scanned appeared. “scanning commencing” said the machine in robotic voice as it proceeded to scan my eyes and fingerprint and also neurologically scan me for purposes of my own wellbeing. “Identification confirmed,” it said “You appear to be experiencing high levels of stress, deep breathing is a recommended and proven method to reduce stress levels” I rolled my eyes at the wretched machine. “The only thing I need love is a cup of friggin’ tea! Now fling me down the chute you hoity toity machine!” I cracked my knuckles in anticipation, smoothed back my hair and was flung down the chute into a clean white room with plain washed walls and incredibly bright lights that always blinded me on arrival.

          “Ah there you are Nick!”
          Lucas was annoying I hated Lucas!
          You know we’ve been waiting for you?”
          Correction Lucas is annoying and thick skulled.
          “Have a wafer.”
          I took a wafer from the packet, bit into it and spat it all over the floor.
          Oh and now he carries around wafers that taste like goat; that’s just great

          I was taken to the usual control room. “How’s our infrastructure,” I asked Mark.
          “It’s fine,” he said whilst hunching over a computer screen, “Take a look at this though.” It was the satellite. It appeared that it had been knocked out of orbit. I held my head in my hands “please tell me this isn’t happening,” I said. I was hoping that this had all been a bad dream, but it wasn’t. “Is it online? Can you ping it?” I questioned. Of course these were the obvious places to start, but to be honest, the people who ran my facilities could be right ninnies most of the time. “We lost contact at 10:49, we have had nothing since”
          “Oh great, so what you’re saying is that we’ve got twenty tonnes of scrap metal in orbit around earth without jamming?” I scratched my chin whilst trying to anticipate what to do next. “Lucas, make yourself useful and chuck us a pen will you, I need to make some calculations,” I said firmly. He nodded his head and saluted me. I rolled my eyes as if to say Run along now you idiot.

          Do You Take American Express?

          Alex General Nuggets 0 Comments

          So you’ve stepped off the plane at Gatwick and all you have is an American Express. Congratulations, you’re going to look like an absolute idiot for the entirety of your trip because nowhere will take it. I lie of course because I myself an American Express card and apparently I’m the most British person in the entirety of Great Britain, which I guess by extension makes the most British person on the planet, which itself is an interesting concept.

          Actually I’m Selling You A Lemon.

          Not literally, I’m a lemon consumer, not a producer. I’m pretty sure that most establishments (apart from the dodgey pub down the road which has a very shifty barman) accepts American Express, however it has become a bit of a running joke in certain films and yes for a while I found it particularly amusing that my father couldn’t use his new fancy credit card with contactless payments. Of course, back in those days, it was well new and revolutionary, whereas now I would consider it the norm despite the lack of people in the group without one, but I’ll ignore this because I’m letting my mind wonder into the realms of contactless.

          What I Mean Is, I’ve Just Told You A Lot Of Bull!

          I just realised that the terminolgy I used in the previous subtitle may confuse people, so I thought I’d make this crystal clear. I lied, a majority of places do accept it. I mean if you were really feeling brave, you could just leave your visa credit at home, because let’s face it, who wants to go traipsing with a shed load of Great British Pounds? 

          Although Seriously Just Use Your Phone

          One day very soon, I’m probably going to be using a digital wallet and I’m probably going to take one look at the code and say “Actually, no thank you!” Because hackers are more ruthless and persistent than you realise these days!

          Tl;dr – There’s actually no point to this post

          Seriously, it’s quite rubbish! Come back on Friday instead, because that one is actually a follow on to the post known as Tearoom Days. Oh and if you really want to know who accepts Amercian Express, here’s a link!

          Come With Me; If You Like

          Alex General Nuggets 0 Comments

          I see you sitting there staring at me. Do you have something to say or are you just going to stand there all day and gorp? Perhaps you don’t recognise me, for these past three years have developed four independent models each of varying lifespans. Either way, I really don’t have time for this; my schedule is tight, but time is not my enemy here, it is but a gentle reminder to keep moving and a push to think quicker.

          I have something that I have to do, are you with me or without me because I have no interests in chasing wild geese. There is great urgency for this action that will boom much louder than anyone who speaks words. There will be consequences, there will be judgement. You want to open your mouth, you want to say you know who I am, but it’d be a lie. You don’t know me; perhaps you never will. Being dynamic is part of my nature, change is part of my nurture. Adaptability and fluidity is what I strive for, freedom and variety is what I seek, whereas ethical use of power is something that I must learn.

          Do you remember that time when we tossed a coin? We ended up in London where we tried to save the Queen. How many chances have you taken recently? I suspect it isn’t too many… You’re not really a risk taker are you? I see fear in your eyes when my striking gaze pierces your soul. I am not a good man, but I am of course by no means a bad man, you know that at the very least.

          Tell me, do you believe everything you hear? Tell me do you believe everything you read? How can you truly trust your mind that manifests imperfections, a mind that manipulates its environment, a mind that’s constantly calculating and a mind that’s messing with you. Perhaps you’ve grown used to it, perhaps it doesn’t bother you or perhaps you programmed yourself not to care. Either way, I guess it’s none of my business really is it?

          I yawn, placing my hand over my mouth in a polite manner. I smile warmly at you, I have to go, you know that. You want me to stay in a town I’ve outgrown. The world is beckoning me, it’s eagerly awaiting my move. I am but playing a giant game of chess. Perhaps I will see you again, perhaps I won’t. That doesn’t matter because you don’t need me anymore, but that doesn’t mean that you want me to go. Maybe in another universe you’d join me, but in this one, you’d rather sit on a bench and wait. I have to tell you, I’ll never understand your logic or what you’re waiting for, but then again who am I to judge?

          Brexit – It’s Now Real

          Alex Uncategorised 0 Comments

          I suspected it, I knew it was going to happen. Could I stop it? No I could not, it was beyond my control. Did you really think I could though? When I woke up this morning at 05:30, I hoped that it was a nightmare. Brace yourselves everyone the people have decided that Britain should be single again, the pound is plummeting, but most importantly my alcoholic uncle has got his way!

          I’m not saying that it’s necessarily a bad thing that Brexit has been decided, but it has made a bit of a mess this morning. It’s like the entire of the United Kingdom (except for Scotland) had a house party, drank too much and coated the floor in vomit. It’ll take a while to clean up. But it can’t be that bad, I mean the sun is actually shining for once. It all appeared to be a little too much for little Dave though this morning when he resigned. Let’s face it, we all knew that he would…

          So now we have paperwork to fill out, lots and lots of paperwork. Doesn’t that sound fun? I can’t really tell you what is going to happen.

          So we’ve decided to leave, what should we do? Well for starters I guess we can bring back 3000 watt kettles to drink copious amounts of tea while we wait for the pound to stabilise again. Now is the time for ideas people and creative geniuses, it’s time for Britain to make a new model! Of course it may take a while for us to actually leave, because like I said PAPERWORK.

          So if I couldn’t stop it, I might as well support the decision. I applaud the United Kingdom for its decision, I applaud Mr. Farrage because he so to speak has got his country back. Hell if I’d thought about betting on all this stuff, I could’ve been raking it in. Even better, I could’ve converted all my pounds to dollars! I even applaud Boris Johnson, because although I’m not his biggest fan (far from it) he has certainly had a big impact on the outcome of all of this. I shall assist you all with your necessities, I will help you because I understand its importance to you.

          Am I scared? No I’m not scared, nor am I fearful. After all, you can’t control everything can you really? That would be ludicrous! I wonder if people realise how patronising that sounds actually… What ever happens happens, whatever in turn of that happening happens and so on and so forth. Believe it or not, I’m actually excited for the future. After all we all know that things only get better with age.

          Congratulations I guess. let’s work to make this right! Oh and for goodness sake, be reasonable…